Oregon Public Broadcasting

Looking for someone to take home for Thanksgiving?   Technology promised to save us from loneliness and the stress of the singles scene.

While it hasn't exactly worked out that way,  millions of people have used the internet to  find love, or something like it. 

And, as April Baer reports,  a new niche  industry has emerged to help people present themselves online.

Writer Stacey Bolt didn't set out to be an internet dating coach. One unforgettably bad boss  forced her into it.

Stacey Bolt:  "It was one of a long string of indignities he would heap upon me weekly."

The boss had just gone through a breakup, and wanted help with his online profile.

Stacey Bolt: "Which was pretty much riddled with every cliche you can imagine, short of liking long walks in the moonlight'."

Bolt wanted to keep her job, so she went over the profile for spelling, grammatical errors, and, well, cheesiness.

Stacey Bolt   "I was just trying to make it, you know, read well, at that point. I was just undoing whatever was the most blatant damage he had done. Full sentences, subject-verb agreement. That kind of thing."

Bolt later learned that her boss married someone he met online, using the profile she'd smoothed over.

Although the experiment was successful, she prefers to leave online coaching to the pros -- people like Bay-Area resident Sierra Faith.

Faith, who used to live in Ashland, Oregon, provides a variety of services to help people retool their virtual dating experience.

Sierra Faith  “Either they’re looking for greater traffic, or they’re busy, and a lot of women and men that are very busy tend to present themselves in the romantic arena, the same way they present themselves in the business arena. And energetically it’s totally backwards."

One of Faith's customers is Portlander Ashley Henry. Single white female, 30s, athletic blond with sparkly green eyes --wait, that's my description, not hers.

Henry says one thing online coaching made her realize was that she didn't need to provide every little detail.

Ashley Henry    "I have to say the first time she took the profile I had written, I was shocked at how much she changed it. Not that she changed at all the message of who I am, it was just a different way of describing myself."

Henry  says the experience gave her new eyes for how she presented herself, but also how she saw and responded to men who expressed an interest.

Ashley Henry: "When I was actively dating online, I could spend hours, if I had chosen to going through profiles, responding to emails. She helped me discern how I could be most successful, and not have it be something like a second job." 

As online dating has grown,  dozens of consultants like Sierra Faith have sprung up offering coaching services. 

Some clients describe it as no more unusual than getting advice for interior decorating, or asking a career counselor to look at your resume.  If you don’t want to spring for a formal coach, even the online dating sites offer some help.

Herb Vest   "You want to get it as close to the truth as possible.”

Herb Vest is a former banker who now runs the matchmaking site true.com.  His approach is a bit more down-home, but he basically agrees with what Sierra Faith says -- that many people think much too far ahead when they're writing profiles.

Stop looking for Mister or Ms. Right, he says, and just find that good first date.

Herb Vest    "What you're looking for here, like a fisherman, is fish! Once they get into the boat, you can throw them back out!"

In recent years, his site has started offering help with profiles and pictures.

The site's even working on a service that identifies customer preferences, and changes your profile picture based on who's looking at you.